Keys in the Cosmos

Why is getting a key so hard?
I was on Jekyll and I lost my keys. Somehow between the Club Hotel and the Wharf- my keys completely disappeared. I always lose my keys, but somehow they turn up an hour later. Well after 3 hours of Search and Rescue, I decided they were not going to be found. So I called the local Dealership, we'll call them Smalley.
I said "I need a key, I lost my keys."

Smalley- "Did you buy the car from us?"

Me- "No but we have bought 4 cars from you guys."

Smalley- "We'll Ma'am we need you to bring in proof of ownership and your license."

Me- "Well I would love to bring you my license and proof of ownership but I lost the keys so therefore I cannot drive."

Smalley-" Ma'am it's against the law to give you a replacement key unless I see your license"

Me- "Again, I can't bring you a license because I don't have the keys to drive my car"

Smalley-" Well what kind of car do you have. Wait... that kind of car...hmmm the only way for you to get a replacement key is to bring it in so we can hook it up to the computer"

Me-" I would love to bring it in, but I lost the keys and cannot drive which is why I am calling you."

Smalley" Oh...well I can have it towed."

Me- "well before we do that let me call my dad to make sure he doesn't have a spare."

So here goes the dreaded phone call to Lee Brandt. If you have ever dealt with my father you know how this is going to go. Of course when Crisis happens, Mom The Rational Parent is out of town.
First I called mom to see if she had a spare key anywhere at the house.
Me-"Mom, I lost my keys and I'm trying not to freak out."

Mom-" You lost your keys? Where are they??"

Me- " If I knew that, I wouldn't be calling you to tell you that my keys are lost."

Mom-" Oh right, well I am at a prison ministry thing checking into the hotel....Oh my goodness Missy you should see Patty and her suitcase. *Proceeds to start talking to Patty*"

Me-" Mom I need an answer from you- do you have the spare key. Mollie thought she gave it to you."

Mom- "I don't know, call your sister and ask."

Me- "Mom I did and now I am calling you to see where at our house it could be before I have to call Papa to tell him all of this and you know he is"

Mom- " ok well tell him they could be in my drawer, his drawer, the laundry room, my purse (oh that's with me), the closet...and she named about 5 other places."

Me-"ok mom, just pray I find my keys"

Now I know the next phone is my dad going to be Stating the Obvious and Tell me about 10 things I could have done to avoid losing my keys:
Me- "Hey Papa. I need you to see if there is a spare key at the house."

Papa-" Why"

Me-" I lost my keys"

Papa-"Where did you lose your keys!!!!!"

Me-" If I knew that I would have them!!!"

Papa- "Well why did you lose your keys???"

Me-"Because I thought hey it would be a great day to lose my keys and be stranded on an island"

Papa-" Well where is the spare?"

Me-" I called you to ask you to find it"

Papa- "Oh here is the spare..."

Me-" Does it say Kia"

Papa-"Yes"

Me-"Look Outside and See if the Kia is there"

Papa-"Ok yes it is."

Me-" So I am not driving the Kia, I now am driving the Jeep-have been for months."

Papa-"ok which spare key is it?"

Me-"the one that says Jeep"

Papa-"Ok that one is not here"

Me-" Great... that means I have to tow it"

Papa-" Just call a locksmith and get him to open your car!!!!"

Me-" And then drive it with what key"

Papa-" The Spare!!!!"
I literally just gave up at this point and decided to have the car towed.

So I call Smalley to have it towed. The tow truck calls me.
Tow Truck -" Ma'am where are you located"

Me-"Jekyll Island."

Tow Truck- " How are you parked"

Me-" in the parking lot. There is marsh in front and parking lot in back"

Tow Truck- "Ma'am I need the key so that I can back your car up"

Me-" I don't have the key that is the whole reason the car is getting towed into the dealership so they can hook it up to a computer and program a key"
Inwardly I am thinking "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!"

Tow Truck-" Well Smalley can give you a key that will open the door but not drive the car"

Me-" And how am I supposed to get it to Jekyll"

Tow Truck....silence...

So I had to make the dreaded phone call again:
Me- " Papa you have to go to Smalley and get the key that will open the door, but not drive it, to have the tow truck tow it to Smalley to re-program a key to go along with the computer."

Papa- "Wait where are you??"

Me- "On Jekyll, I already told you that. I have not gone anywhere since I lost my keys"

Papa-" Well what happened to the spare?"

Me- " The spare is non-existent, it is a fiction of our imaginations. Spares do not exist!!"

Papa- " Well I (very haughty) have a spare that I keep in a magnetic thing behind the wheel. You should get one of those"

Me-" I know I should have had a spare on the car, but I dont.I need you to drive to Smalley"

Papa-" Smalley? What is there?

Me-" The key that opens the car door so the tow truck can put it in reverse"

Papa-" What kind of key opens a door and doesn't drive it" He did have a legitimate question there.

Me-" all I know is that I have to do this or the car won't drive."

Papa-" Well call your sister and see where the spare is."

Me-" I already did, plus she had to fax her proof of identity to them since the car is in her name."

Papa- "Fine, Fine I'll go, but call me and tell me what your sister says."

All of this takes about 3 hours. The tow truck arrives. Papa comes 20 minutes later. The tow truck pulled to the side of the parking lot until he arrived. And where does he park? RIGHT BEHIND MY CAR.

Me-" Papa, move your car, the tow truck can't get to it"

Papa-" Wait, I want to see if this key works"

I just look helplessly at the Tow Truck Guy.

The keys works, my car is successfully towed, and Papa and I are following it to Smalley.

He looks at me and says " Wait did you have a spare made!!!!"

At this time, all I could do was look at the sun setting and nod my head.

I wish I could say I am being dramatic with this story, but for those that know the Brandts you know that I am not.

After thought:
Mollie told me that Papa called her demanding her VIN number. She said she didn't know because I had the car. He then said " well you are supposed to have it memorized! To which Mollie responded " who memorizes their VIN?"