My New Moon Review

SPOILERS:

Let me preface this by saying I loved Twilight. I had no expectations when I went to see it, I had not read the books. Because of no expectations, I liked it...alot.

So I read the books. I think I read all of them in a week. That's pretty good seeing as how they are 500 pages long, but the 4th one was the only that brought weird vampire lore into it. As far as vampires go, these are pretty weak. Little gore in these books. The most gore was the giving birth scene in the 4th book. And as we all know, giving birth is pretty gory. These books are pretty much a metaphor for wanting what you can't have. Regardless of opinion, I'm all for something that preaches to young girls to save yourself for marriage.

New Moon was my favorite book. I was really looking forward to the movie. I was so excited as the previews came on-wearing my homemade Team Jacob shirt (Meredith's idea).The sadness in the book was something most of us have experienced. Losing someone or something and finding a way go on with your life. So for all of that sadness, NO ONE CRIED. Not one of the actors cried. Bella didn't cry when Edward left her, Edward didn't cry when he thought Bella was dead, and Jacob didn't cry when Bella told him she picked Edward over him. They all had the shocked look on their face, and sniffled a little, but the audience was crying- but not the actors?

How Bella handled Edward Leaving Her: She goes into shock and crumbles up in the fetal position in the woods. I can understand the shock, but that usually sets in when you have cried all of your tears.

How Edward Handles Bella's Supposed Death: He crushes a cell phone in his hand and looks pained/constipated.

How Jacob handles Bella's rejection: He sniffles a little for a second.

I liked the way they handled the blank pages. That was something I really liked about the book. But the scene didn't overly impress me.

I have defended New Moon all week long, but i'll have to admit there were some scenes that I busted out loud laughing.
#1- Edward's cheesy lines in the beginning. The setting in which he said them seemed so inappropriate. Cheesy lines while walking in the hallway at school? The cheesy lines were more appropriate when he said them at the end- because they were separated for so long.

#2-ok the grunting during a kissing scene after Bella's birthday party. I know people around us were annoyed because Meredith and I busted out laughing. I guess it was supposed to be a sexy grunt?

#3- The running in the woods scene- you have to see it for yourself- Hilarious. If I wanted an Oscar one day, I would be embarrassed as an actor, but hey what's more important- Oscar or Millions? (Afterthought- When I watched the movie the second time- the whole audience laughed at it and one guy yelled "LAME!")

Oh I also cringed at the music. The first soundtrack was surprisingly good- Mutemath and Iron & Wine? good choices. New Moon had good artists too- Death Cab and Bon Iver, but the whole compilation sounded like depressing Emo music you would be hearing while shopping at Gap Outlet. And Where Was Bella's Lullaby? One of the reasons Bella can't sleep is because Edward sang her the lullaby every night. They could've worked it in. Summit even made them write in Bella's Lullaby into the first movie and that was an excellent choice- but not in the second?

What made the movie for me? Jacob. I know I've been putting Team Jacob on facebook all week long. I'm sorry- I had to keep reminding myself that kid was 17. I think I like Jacob so much because he's not co-dependent with Bella like Edward is. The author tries to justify Edward being Bella's entire existence because she didn't really have a life before meeting him. Well she did,she was only 17, and just starting her life.

Fantasy Vampires saying things like "I've been waiting for you my whole life", "and I can't live without you" and "you're the reason for my entire existence" is just literature, but I'm sorry girls if someone says something like that to you in real life? Run. That's creepy and co-dependent. They definitely need Jesus.

Jacob liked Bella for who she was not because her blood "called to him" . That my friends is the kind of guy you need. Not one that makes you fall in love with him by stalking you and then leaves you saying he wants you to have a normal life? Oh really Edward? How about not bothering her in the first place. At least you are not taking her soul when she offers it to you. You get a cool point for that.

Why does Edward appeal to the ladies? In the first movie, he sets this up- he's protective of her. Girls like to feel secure. He has eyes only for her. Doesn't every women want the most beautiful, sensitive, yet manly guy in the room only drawn to her? In New Moon, the absence of this makes you understand why she's so heartbroken, but trying dangerous and potentially deadly things just to hear his voice? It's obsessive. Bella, you're 18- you will go on with your life. Unfortunately, she doesn't do this by building this existing relationships in her life, she finds it through another man-Jacob. Also as far as the kissing scenes- Jacob's Almost Kissing Bella scene was so much more than Edward's in this movie.

I'll give the books and movies this- they show Passion-lots of it. There are some kissing scenes, but I'd rate them PG (one scene maybe PG 13). In the books, the first three are all passion, and the main characters don't have sex until marriage. The movies do show hot guys with their shirts off, but you don't see steamy make out scenes resulting in the removing of clothing and then sex between two people too young to understand the emotions.

And that's why Hollywood is missing the point. These movies are going to make LOTS of money. Already shattering records on opening weekend- Why? Because girls want to experience in virtual reality, a man (or two in this case) who doesn't pressure them, will take care of them and protect them, and wants to get married to them. Oh and also is very concerned with their soul. Teens (and adults) don't need to see sex, profanity, and extreme violence to make them come barging into the movie theatre, and I'm glad the Twilight Series is proving that. Unfortunately, the theory is being proved by cheesy lines, actors incapable of crying, and lots of emo music.

Let's get real- none of us will never have to deal with romantic vampires and obsessive werewolves. They don't exist. It's fantasy. And realize that in real life Edward and Bella would be that creepy couple at your school who's so attached to each other- they are just asking for a terrible break-up because of all of that smothering.

What if they were your parents? Could you imagine your dad being able to read your every thought and not your moms? He'd be the most frustrated person on earth. And when your dad was out of town, your mom constantly trying dangerous things to hear his voice? Creepy.

Overall, I liked it. It was entertaining, but I'm sad they went the Pirates of the Caribbean route. First one excellent, and the second one a build-up to the third. They really had a chance to make New Moon stand out as a movie on its' own and did not.